1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
