I can tuck mytits in my pants
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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