So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
