Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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