you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
