just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
