I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
