its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
