watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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