They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
