I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
