people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
