at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
