Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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