carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
