Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
