I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
