Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
