You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
either way he was missing a nipple.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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