if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
