you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i want to swaddle you in tequila
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
