dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
