Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
