areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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