I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
