You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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