Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
