idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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