So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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