how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
