I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
