i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
