Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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