Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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