Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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