wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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