Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
