My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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