my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
