I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
