Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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