your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
