I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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