I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
