Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
