You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
