After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
