So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Randomize
