He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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