Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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