so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
