So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
