if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
