OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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